


what you’re lookin’ for has been here the whole time

by magesticturtles



Category: South Park
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Not Proofread, Unrequited, annoyingly ambiguous ending, but still kinda idk, lol how do u write, mild swearing, pacing whats that? good writing? never heard of her, sorry - Freeform, style, this is my first fic for this fandom but its trash im trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:27:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magesticturtles/pseuds/magesticturtles
Summary: kyle (accidentally) tells stan exactly how he feels about his relationship with wendy. then proceeds to apologize excessively.





	what you’re lookin’ for has been here the whole time

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based on taylor swift’s 2009 bop “you belong with me”, which i have recently rediscovered. i haven’t written anything in like 3yrs but every once in awhile something will inspire me and this time it was style. oops. this was typed up in 3 hours on the notes app of my phone and not edited so its probably definitely shit. i thought this would be a little, 500 word blurb but as usual it spiralled out of my control. thanks for reading!

it feels like kyle’s still dreaming when he wakes, dim sunlight peaking through the gaps in his blinds. he lies still in his bed for a few seconds, recognizing simultaneously that it’s both too early to be up for school and that it’s a saturday, regardless. he frowns against the sun as he tries to think of what ungodly thing woke him up. 

the answer arrives a quick minute later in the form of his phone ringing. he squints his eyes against the bright display, making out stan’s name and a picture of his smiling face. he quickly swipes to accept, answering with a groggy, less than sexy, “hello?”

“hey, dude,” stan’s voice fills his ear, a tinge tired but as warm and familiar as usual, “sorry, i know i’m waking you up. but we haven’t hung out in awhile and — well, i’m already outside. i could really use a friend right now.”

kyle quickly dashes to the bathroom, brushing his teeth with one hand and putting on a pair of thick sweatpants that he’d tossed to the floor the night before with the other. he goes downstairs quietly, sliding on a pair of boots and pulling his neglected ushanka out from between the couch cushions before jamming it onto his head and slipping out the front door.

stan is already out there as promised, his lean, lanky body rigid in the cold wind. he greets kyle with a familiar smile, which he returns. something isn’t quite right, though, he can tell immediately. there are vicious dark circles under his eyes. the slightly cloudy sky is casting a dark shadow on his face. he looks older than his age.

“yeah,” he starts, fists jammed in the pockets of his jacket, “i was up all night with wendy. we had a little...well, we had a fight.” his tone is nonchalant. his eyes are looking everywhere but at kyle. “i made some dumb ass joke. she told me off about it, then we spent the next few hours ignoring each other until i apologized. and then we sat down and talked. a lot. i just came from her place now —“ he nods vaguely in the direction of where the testaburgers live “— and i thought, well shit, i’ve been up for twenty-four hours; what’s a few more to hang with my Super Best Friend?” 

stan wraps his arm around kyle’s slimmer shoulders as they walk in the direction of the park. the redhead finds himself mildly flattered that the first thing stan thought to do after an exhausting night was to come see _him_ , of all people. mildly flattered, but far more concerned. 

“stan, dude. you should really get some sleep. you can’t wear yourself out like this. we can — we can always hang out later today, when you’re not exhausted, y’know?” 

“yeah, but how much you wanna bet that if we decide to do something later she’s gonna wanna do something, too, and i won’t be able to say no unless i want a repeat of last night.” stan chuckles mirthlessly, more of a scoff.

they’re silent as they reach the edge of the park and plop down on a bench. the lake has frozen over in the winter cold. “i’m really not tired, kyle. not like that, anyway.”

kyle drops it.

“well...i’m glad that you called me. i wouldn’t want you getting into trouble in this state. imagine if you called kenny? he’d probably manage to get you to fuck some bimbo and really ruin your relationship. or fatass,” he adds, “no doubt he’d have some convoluted, backwards ass plan to push an extreme movement with an agenda against all women. call it ‘kids against cunts’ or some dumb shit.”

thrillingly, stan throws his head back and laughs at his mindless rambling, the first genuine, authentic laugh kyle’s heard from him in — god, in _months_ , now that he thinks of it. kyle laughs too, but finds himself more enthralled in stan’s long awaited display of true happiness. he can’t help himself from studying every facet of the brunet’s face: the way his lips curled to reveal white, even teeth, the laughter lines around his eyes, the slight, barely there dimple in his right cheek.

stan stops laughing long enough to notice that kyle’s been staring at him for an unscrupulously long time, a look on the other boy’s pale face that he can’t quite place. he shifts tensely on the bench and clears his throat. a feeling of nakedness, of vulnerability, creeps over him for a few seconds before he finally says, “you good, dude?”

something about this simple sentence causes something to snap inside kyle. he feels his cheeks getting hot and red despite the february snow and unwanted tears spring, welling up in his eyes and threatening to spill over. an embarrassing lump fills his throat. he doesn’t want to look at stan any longer but his eyes seem to refuse to listen to him; even as his vision blurs with tears, he’s looking at stan. 

the sound of his own voice is foreign to him, his words coming out in a sort of half whisper as he says, “you know, dude, you — you’ve just got a smile that lights up this whole town and i —“ kyle manages to tear his eyes away for a moment, blinking rapidly and taking a nice, calming breath, “— i haven’t seen it in awhile. not since you started dating wendy.” 

he tries to say the last bit as impassively as possible, but his tongue betrays him, derisively spitting out the word ‘wendy’ like a bitter candy. kyle presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, hoping that maybe if he rubbed hard enough, he’d wake up in his bed again, alone and warm, his eyes bleary with sleep as he squinted at the screen of his phone to see his super best friend’s name and smiling face pop up on the caller id. he wants another chance, wants to do this day over, wants to not embarrass himself and practically bawl like a baby to stan about how much he hates who his girlfriend has turned him into. but when he finally removes his hands from his eyes, he’s still sitting next to stan in the icy weather, and there’s no chance of a do over.

stan stays quiet, hands shoved in his pockets, staring at his outstretched legs. his face is unreadable. kyle spends a few more seconds calming himself down before deciding the horribly awkward silence between them is too much to bear, just as stan opens his mouth to speak.

“stan, dude, im so —“

“you know, dude, you’re —“

flustered, they both stop as suddenly as they started, flashing each other quick, reassuring smiles. and then, miraculously, they both start to chuckle. kyle can’t help but think of how goddamn _easy_ it is to fall back into routine with stan; even after a moment like that, they’ve already snapped back to their typical demeanor.

ever on the same wavelength, each begins to speak at the same time as the other once again.

“you can go ahead, dude —“

“stan, i’d really like to go first —“

then they both stop, look into each others eyes for a second, and stan sighs. “go ahead, dude. honestly.”

kyle breathes in through his nose, hoping to slow down his thoughts just enough that his words don’t come out a mile a minute. “i’m really sorry that i said that, dude. it’s none of my business and i was really out of line for taking it there. it was never that serious to begin with. i know how much you — you love wendy,” he hesitates on that part, “and i had no right to imply that she’s bringing you down or anything and i’m sorry.”

kyle glances up at stan, who is smiling, thankfully enough. he starts to speak, calm as ever, and kyle can’t help but envy his perpetual level headedness. 

“i guess i was just surprised that someone actually noticed — but, dude! you’re not just someone!” the words make kyle’s unrelenting heart flutter with hope, to his slight dismay. “you’ve just been there for me for so long, how could you not notice? no one knows me better, i guess.” stan stops doting for a moment, recognizing that he’s getting sidetracked as he pinches his glabella. 

“listen, dude. i know you want the best for me. i know you just want to see me happy. and things with wendy have been...rocky, lately, but it doesn’t mean i’m not happy. relationships are tough, dude,” he adds, nodding slowly. to kyle, it seems more like he’s trying to reassure himself. “they’re tough, and they require work and effort. but we’re gonna make it work. me and wendy — dude, we’re meant for each other.” 

kyle can’t get stan’s words out of his head as they begin the trek back towards town. _dude, we’re meant for each other._

he sneaks glances at stan out of the corner of his eye, trying to catch glimpses of his smile as the conversation becomes mindless. he thinks about how, in his mind, at least, those six words ring true for an entirely different reason.


End file.
